birds flying high, you know how I feel.

it's the bare necessities.

2012-01-12T00:35:00.001-05:00

earlier I had a pretty dismal post up, but then I had an epiphany of sorts. Joe is away until tomorrow evening, and while I surely miss his cuddles, I have a whole new kind to appreciate. maybe I don't get to be wrapped in big, strong arms alongside of his warm body, but my heart feels full just the same. every evening between 12 and 1, L wakes up for her last nursing of the night. usually I dread this feeding because I'm beyond exhausted and I just want to be in my bed fulfilling my role as little spoon until I get too warm and roll over onto my preferred sleeping position. (what can I say, I'm a stomach sleeper through and through!) tonight is different, yet nothing has changed. L is nursing, letting out sleepy coos from time to time. her one hand explores, grazing my stomach with the occasional pat or tug. her other tiny hand searches until it finds mine and she chooses a finger and wraps hers around it. during this particular feeding we lay down so she associates it with bedtime, which is where my absolute favorite part comes into play. because she is so tired, she just wants to skip playtime, eat, and fall asleep. while she's nursing and even once she falls asleep, she nuzzles her little body into mine, as closely as she can get. when she's in a position that suits her, she lets out a sweet little sigh. I don't know why I didn't realize it before, but it's times like these that remind me what life is all about.

mirrorrim

2012-01-04T01:35:00.001-05:00

it's been awhile. looking back on my old posts, I'm a bit nostalgic. when I read some of them I want to transport back to my past self and use some choice words and perhaps divvy out a few head slaps. some of the things I wrote seem so silly, some stupid, some irrational, all relevant to who I was at that point in time. even though now I can see the humor in them all, I can also remember why I wrote them, why I felt that way, why I was the way I was. I've never been one to keep a diary, so I tell myself, yet that is what a blog is. I know now that I'm writing again I'll bullshit myself with my usual mantra of "I'm going to write regularly this time" although I'm fairly certain I won't. I could also make that my New Year's Resolution, but that holds no real weight when it comes to my dedication. whether I hold true to consistently posting or not, the fact of the matter is that I will still sporadically post, and that always proves to provide me with great satisfaction later on down the road. posting everyday or every year, this blog never ceases to remind me of the magic writing can bring. reading all of those posts prior to this evokes so many feelings and memories, things that I wouldn't be aware of if I hadn't taken a few minutes to virtually jot them down. I'm thankful for that. here's to you, twenty-twelve, don't let me down or, rather, I'll do my best to not let you down. cheers.

blatant disregard.

2010-07-01T12:48:00.004-04:00

I'm dead weight. I feel so many things, both right and wrong, and I'm becoming incapable of doing the one thing I've always done best: following my heart. Here I am, squished next to a sleeping boy, watching him nap and recover from a motorcycle accident, every exhalation further crushing the left portion of my rib cage. Yet I don't move, because I don't want to wake the only boy I've ever loved...and hated. I've never felt so vulnerable, powerless. I've never met anybody capable of bringing so much joy and so much pain into my life...except my father. Growing up in an abusive household, varying from physical to verbal to emotional to psychological, I vowed to myself that I would never be with a man who in any way resembled my father, the scheming, manipulative bastard that he is. I lied. Quite some time ago I was on top of the world with Rob, until he shoved me off so he could have it all to himself. In that time, I made a new friend, a best friend. He treated me better than any man ever has and I broke his heart. I have never felt that kind of instantaneous warmth, protection, love. For the first time in my life I felt needed, wanted, desired. With each passing glance, every breath, text, touch, I felt something inside of me ignite, almost as if my soul was begging me to let it escape, let it unite. Then the accident happened. I stayed in the hospital overnight, never leaving my boyfriend's side. I cared and cried and doted and nursed. I bent over backwards. Now, more than ever, I poured everything into my relationship. I had my heart broken once and I never allowed it to be possessed until now, and at first I thought that decision was for the best, then the sting of the crash wore off and the Oxycodon ran out. Here I sit, watching his chest inflate and deflate, waiting for a change. All I want is a little reciprocation, and the one chance I had at that I blew. I knew I had broken one heart, I'm starting to think that I broke two.

close your eyes

2010-01-26T19:09:00.000-05:00

I don't want to be in college anymore. I'm not sure I ever really wanted to be in college, I just wanted to get away, to escape. Here I am, at HACC, still rotting in the house that's been suffocating me for years. I stopped breathing years ago, I'd like to remember how it feels when my lungs expand. Somebody pull the plug thats keeping me alive. Don't worry about my sanity, that bitch is long gone.

fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck

2009-02-25T05:14:00.002-05:00

you're fucking lost, dude. i don't even know you anymore. hell, you don't even know you anymore. i want to save you, i love you, you know that, i know that, the whole motherfucking world knows that. you're not the person i used to know, and that makes me sadder than you could ever know. when you send me drunk ims, telling me you're going to kill yourself, you rip me apart. i've been up all night, worrying, crying, throwing my fucking guts up. i hope you're as happy as you're pretending; one day you'll get sick of saying that everything's alright. i'm just hoping that when that day comes, it doesn't involve suicide. i'm here, todd, i'm here. i'm not fucking going anywhere. i would never leave you, i would never leave your side. even when you've left mine, i waited for you, and when you came back, there i was. please stop. stop this fucking bullshit. i'm ready to pick up the pieces when you're ready to admit you're broken. i love you.

hold me

2009-01-07T12:17:00.002-05:00

i’m pale so you can see my veins underneath my skin because it’s practically see-through. if i stare at my veins long enough, it’s almost as though i can feel the blood pulsing within them, being transported throughout my entire body. sometimes i trace a path with my fingertip, following my heartbeat from my wrist to wherever the blood is traveling at that particular point in time. i lay there, heavy eyes closed, focusing on my heartbeat. and some days it feels like my blood is lined with lead, everything moves so slowly. sometimes after i shower, i slink down and just sit until my body air dries entirely. i like to rest my head between my kneecaps and just let my wet hair stick to my cheekbones. dark brown tangles fall in front of my face, blocking my eyesight. i watch the water bead up and chase the droplets with my eyes as they weave through the intricate knots and clusters of hair. i pretend the drops are racing down each strand, trying to see who can reach the end first. i might be weird, but i don’t care what you think.

similar to heavy traffic

2008-11-23T02:07:00.004-05:00

my hands smell like cigarettes and my breath smells like coffee. my socks are wet from the snow and my nose is pink from the wind. my tears are hidden behind my smile and my hair is damaged from straightening it far too much. i'm a hot mess, really.

i don't even think anybody reads my blog anymore and strangely, i'm alright with that. it's a release for me; especially today. i haven't posted in so long and i didn't realize how detrimental it was becoming. when i write, i'm happy. i'm free of judgment and scrutiny; i'm me. i can spill out all of my innermost thoughts and my deepest emotions and my strongest feelings and nobody says shit to me.

so even though i don't feel like sitting here expelling every detail of my life, i still feel as though i have. my thoughts were so tangled and my life was so haywire before i began typing but now that i'm pressing my fingertips against my keyboard i'm forced to think about the things i've been keeping tucked away in the crevices of my mind and the dusty, cobwebbed corners of my heart. it's almost as though as soon as i hone in on writing my blog the whole world stops moving and all of the chaos surrounding me ceases. sadly, this entry will cease, too. meaning that as soon as i double click that orange 'publish post' button, the complex nature of my complicated life will resume making me feel like i'm stuck on a teacup ride, spinning and spinning, never stopping. i think i'm going to throw up. (publish post)

pants on fire.

2008-09-16T22:52:00.004-04:00

I hate liars, so, so much. I hate when people are fake, when they tease you. I hate being in love only to find out the other person is such a douche. Telling you they love you, telling you they want to be with you, but in reality they're just bullshitting you.

There was always a reason I kept my heart to myself, and you are why. No reader, not you. You is my ex-boyfriend, silly.

Mr. I'll-wait-for-you. Mr. I love you. Mr. You're-the-only-girl-for-me. How about Mr. I'm-a-total-mofo-who-is-full-of-shit? Hm? Try that one on for size.

paigersss (9:43:32 AM): uhm, so I need to be completely honest here. I want to be with you more than anything, more than anybody else. you make me so happy, and I love being around you. &I know the distance is too much for you and that this is all my fault, and I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I love you very much &I'll wait for you. just let me know when you're ready, I'll be here.

Do you have any idea how hard that was for me to say? How difficult of a pill that was to swallow? He felt the exact same way that I did, or so he said. We were young and in love and my parents made me break up with him. Things were bad but they got so, so good. We were still in love, we were wild and carefree. We still shared this intimacy, both emotionally and physically. So there I was, opening my heart, trying to fix things and he shut me down. So then I sent that message. And he told me he loves me, more than anyone, but he doesn't want a girlfriend.

If you don't want a girlfriend, don't tease me. Don't play with my heart. Don't tell me you love me. Don't call me beautiful. Don't call me at all. Don't be fake. Don't lie. Don't be around. I hate you. I hate, hate, hate you. Because you broke my heart. But I hate you even more because I deserved it.

Where is the Love?

2008-04-24T10:08:00.003-04:00

No, this post is not about the Black-Eyed Peas song.

I hate ignorance. I hate narrow-minded people. I hate that people are so against being open-minded, so closed, so afraid of everything. I believe that it is your right to have an opinion, but I also believe that everyone has an opinion and that opinion deserves to be heard just as much as yours. It's so frustrating that people all want to talk, and run their mouths, but the second you disagree you're worth shit.

Consider this. I'm in Speech class right now, discreetly avoiding beginning to type an outline for a persuasive speech about saving the rain forest. There's an overly obnoxious jock with the i.q. of a rock to my right. I'm a Christian. I don't believe in abortion, gay marriage, the death penalty, or sex before marriage. Well, he is writing his persuasive speech on his support of the death penalty. Whatever, those are his beliefs, I respect that. So, when he asked me if I would give him ideas, I respectfully declined. I'm against the death penalty, how am I to aid you in your pro-death penalty speech? We literally argued for about 10 minutes because, apparently, my views are wrong because they're not his opinions. LAME.

I'm not stupid, I know that you're not going to agree with everybody, but you can at least listen to everybody and try to understand where they're coming from. Is that really so much to ask?

Also, that annoying jock to my right just shouted that I was blogging, which would be perilous for my Speech grade and smarty-pants reputation. I not-so-respectfully told him to just shut-up, and now I allegedly am in a bad mood. Go figure. Well NEWS FLASH, I'm not in a bad mood, I'm just sick of people. Mainly you, over there to my right. Also, you can take that apology you just gave me and shove it...well, you know. And, snap my bra strap again and see what happens. (Dick.)

Germs are gross.

2008-03-28T11:07:00.003-04:00

I'm a big germophobic. &You should be too.

Superbad is Supergood

2008-03-22T13:21:00.008-04:00

See that picture to the left? He's quite a looker isn't he? Chances are you're probably wrinkling your nose which is probably making your forehead look crinkly. Right? Perhaps Michael Cera (Superbad, Juno) is an acquired taste. You know, like caviar and stuff. To be honest, I didn't think he was anything special until I saw Superbad, now I'm smitten.

With those big brown eyes and that lanky build, Cera is borderline irresistable. He's got that boyish charm paired with the some of the manly mystiques so many women crave. He won our hearts in Superbad and solidifed them as his property in his second smash-hit Juno. He's mine.

I've generally been known to fall for the bad boy type, but Cera's aura of innocence and genuineness really made me weak in the knees. He respects women, he respects himself, and he's always down for being that boy-next-door you know you can count on. Something about that really speaks to me. He's shy, awkward, and a little bit insecure. He gets nervous and he's not afraid to take things sloooooow. I'm not trying to rag on the boys, I have more male friends than I do female, it just seems that today bad boys are all we got. Guys are getting tougher, they're getting this attitude that they've got to do lame things to prove their masculinity, I think that's what makes Michael Cera so refreshing, such a breath of fresh air. Cera makes me realize that I would choose someone like him over a guy like Danny Zuko. (If you catch my drift.)

Maybe I'm just getting older, getting wiser, or maybe I'm just learning to think rationally. Regardless of what may actually be occurring, I like the side effects.

Office-ally in Love

2008-03-16T13:21:00.006-04:00

To the untrained eye, I appear extraordinarily un-American. I dislike apple pie, everything involving NASCAR, and spending hours and hours upon end with my eyes glued to the 'tube. It's not that I hate television; I just think most programs are not worth watching. Don't misunderstand me, I'm a huge fan of Man vs. Wild, Scooby-Doo, 24, and almost every show that airs on HGTV; it's just that I have never lost sleep over missing an episode of any particular show. Then I saw the gut-busting, laugh-'till-you-cry sitcom infamously known as The Office.

Since the day I when I watched my very first episode, I knew I was in love. In love with the witty humor, in love with that fact that it’s filmed in nearby Scranton, and, understandably, in love with the adorable Jim Halpert. Lucky for me, lucky for my affinity for cardigans, I am most like Jim’s current girlfriend: the receptionist Pam. I know this is certain because I took multiple quizzes for confirmation and only one produced different results. (It claimed I was a tie between Jim and Pam, not bad.) Being most like Pam has its obvious positive attributes such as dating Jim, playing pranks on Dwight, and having really nice teeth. Unfortunately for me/Pam, Creed and Kevin will hit on me regularly and that stuck-up snob Karen will be pining alongside me for Jim’s affection for a while, and nobody really knows how to spell my last name. (Is it Beesley, Beesly, or Beasly?)

All options considered, I think being most like Pam is the desired result of that quiz. It’s pretty clear to me that the positive attributes heavily outweigh the negatives; I don’t brew my own beer, I’m not obsessed with cats, I don’t allow my life to revolve around growing beets, and I don’t eat hand sanitizer to fulfill my needs as an alcoholic. However, I don’t want you as the reader to feel left out, which is why I so kindly went through a great amount of trouble and backbreaking work to create a very special “Which Office Character are YOU Most Like” quiz. Feel free to thank me at any time, gifts and money will be accepted.

Click here for the quiz!

Grin and Bear It

2008-03-13T14:38:00.000-04:00

Here’s the deal, I’m a pretty indecisive person. For the past week or two, I’ve left my second period study hall so I could go to Mr. Clements’ room during his Composition class and work on my article about the top ten bizarre soft drinks in Japan. This article, though, has nothing to with soft drinks or Japan. I spent my time in Mr. Clements’ room online looking up weird facts and going to the Discovery Channel website to find out if I "could be Bear Grylls for a day." It was after I won both the Kenya and Iceland adventures that I realized yes, I could be Bear for a day and yes, I would rather write an article about the star of my favorite show, "Man vs. Wild."

One Thursday however, Mr. Clements was reading writing prompts to his class and he suggested the following, "If you could spend one day with any person, living or dead, who would it be?" Even though that prompt wasn’t directed towards me and I knew that I wouldn’t have to write it, I wrinkled my nose and shuddered the thought of having to do so. I’ve never really been a prompt kind of person and that one was flat out cheesy! Or was it?

If I had the opportunity to spend the day with any person, there is not a shred of doubt in my mind that I would spend it with Bear Grylls. Bear provides this superhuman help towards all stranded tourists. Thanks to Grylls, I now know how to survive the unexpected and how to stay alive when I’m hopelessly lost in the Moab Desert or in the Costa Rican rain forests or even the Everglades. Thanks to Grylls, I can get out of frightening predicaments such as quicksand and freezing arctic waters. But lately, rumors surrounding the credibility of Bear’s show had me doubting whether or not he can get himself out of those tough situations.

A former member of the British Special Forces, Grylls proclaims he can "show you the skills you need to survive." Until recently, I never felt any state of disbelief as I would watch him, mouth ajar, eat creepy crawlies like maggots, scorpions, and snakes. Something inside me would tingle and be fascinated every time I would see him construct a raft out of balsa wood or build a makeshift shelter out of pine tree branches. Then I read a report on the BBC News website that claimed that Bear Grylls was a phony. How dare they? It was almost as though my world had shattered before me. Yes, that's a bit of an exaggeration. It semi-shattered. Generally any die-hard fan would boycott his or her new ex-favorite show when it was being called a sham, but not me. I still cancel all previously made plans with close friends in order to watch it. I still schedule my day around all potential viewings of the show. I still make all the residents of my household vacate the area so that I may watch Bear in a peaceful, serene location filled only with sound of attractive British accents and crackling fires. I know it may be a bit over the top, but I don’t really care. Sure, maybe Bear has stayed in motel or two, but he’s still eating beetle larvae and spruce needles on camera and that’s okay with me.

I’ve decided that I’m okay if Bear doesn’t rough every night in the wild. He’s still trudging through smelly swamp goo, eating things that give normal people goosebumps, and exploring ancient, vampire bat-infested viper pits. I think it’s because no matter what, a hero is still a hero. It’s even more heroic to know that my hero has flaws, things that make him imperfect, things that put him more on my level. I think that it’s for those reasons that I will continue to aspire to someday be just like Bear. Well, maybe my aspiration is just to continue aspiring about being Bear; either way, I’m satisfied.

That's a Rap

2008-03-13T14:37:00.000-04:00

Matt Damon is married with children, Josh Hartnett is turning 30, and Rita’s Italian Ice is canceling their Banana Berry Cream flavor. Just when I thought my week couldn’t get any worse, it did. Two of the world’s most renowned rappers, Kanye West and 50 Cent, had been in a “rap brawl.” America titled this feud the “Kanye West vs. 50 Cent Rap Brawl 2007.” Original, huh? Perhaps Miss South Carolina helped name it. This duel was generated by the fact that both rappers were releasing their CDs on the same date: September 11, 2007. To fuel the fire, 50 added that if his CD, “Curtis,” didn’t outsell Kanye’s “Graduation” within a week of sales, he’d quit rapping. Now several weeks past the end of the brawl, I guess this is good-bye 50.

While 50 Cent, born Curtis James Jackson III on July 6, 1975 in Queens, New York, has had numerous dance hits such as 2005’s “Disco Inferno” and “Candy Shop,” I’m a sucker for his more soulful raps, those that explain how he got that scar on the left side of his face, like “I’m a Hustler,” “Ghetto Qu’ran (Forgive Me),” and “Good Die Young.” I decided to extensively research Curtis, partly because I can’t think of any words to describe Mr. West that would be appropriate for the school newspaper and partly because someone once told me that they thought mellow, ballad-writing, John Mayer (whose music I do love), has more soul than 50 Cent. Whatever.

As a child, Curtis lost his “hustler” mother and his father walked out, leaving him in the incapable hands of his grandmother. As a teen, Mr. Jackson found a trade that proved to be lucrative: dealing cocaine. After being arrested on multiple occasions in 1994, Curtis ultimately decided to turn his life around and became involved in the hip-hop industry. It didn’t take long for 50 to get recognized, and in 1996 he scored a deal with the help of record mogul Jam Master Jay, formerly a member of RUN-D.M.C. Before releasing his debut CD, “Power of the Dollar,” Jackson released three hits: "Your Life's on the Line," "Thug Love" (featuring Destiny’s Child), and "How to Rob,” which was the largest of the three releases, because of it’s brash lyrics describing how 50 would, essentially, rob specific big-name rappers. The instant fame Curtis attracted upon the release spurred two attacks on his life. The first attempt to take Jackson’s life occurred when he was brutally stabbed outside of the Hit Factory studio on West 54th street in Manhattan, New York. On May 24, 2000, less than month before Columbia was going to release “Power of the Dollar.” The second, and more famed, attempt was made on his life. On 161st Street in Jamaica, Queens (not only was this city where 50 was raised, but Jam Master Jay would also be shot, fatally, near the same location two and a half years later), Jackson sat helplessly in the passenger seat of the car while he was shot nine times with a 9mm gun; once in the cheek, once in the hand, and seven times in his thighs and legs, which explains his trademark of wearing bulletproof vests.

While Curtis narrowly escaped death, Columbia received word of the shooting and negated not to release “Power of the Dollar” and to drop 50 from their label. Since that time, Mr. Jackson has still had some minor brushes with the law, none of them resulting in major jail-time. He has also founded his own record label, G-Unit, which signed many successful rap artists such as Young Buck, Lloyd Banks, and Tony Yayo. More recently, 50 Cent is becoming more and more famous. This pop culture icon is in the limelight so much that Glacéau put a blurb about Jackson on their grape flavored vitamin water.

To me, 50 Cent is more than just a good-looking rap phenomenon; he’s a soulful music artist, who puts real meaning behind his lyrics. 50 Cent actually lived through everything most rappers write rhymes about, but not all actually experience such as: drugs, crimes, imprisonments, stabbings, and shootings. So even though 50 writes the same racy, explicit, “I met a girl at a club and took her home,” songs that the majority of other artists do, at least he puts his money where his mouth is. He’s not an egotistical, self-centered, “Kanye West,” releasing music that rocks; he’s a survivor releasing songs about a broken home and personal struggles he’s overcome. Granted, I’ll still tap my pencil during Kanye’s “Stronger,” “Touch the Sky,” and “Jesus Walks,” because quite frankly, I like his music. The thing is, I don’t like his whole, I’m-better-than-you attitude. Which is why you, Curtis James Jackson III, had my vote.

Fast Fat Food

2008-03-13T14:35:00.000-04:00

I’ve spent countless Saturday nights with my two boyfriends, Ben and Jerry. I’ve hung out with Wendy and Ronald McDonald tons of times. And as much as I’d like to tell you that the Burger King and I haven’t gone on many dates, I can’t. But what I can tell you is that this article isn’t just about my junk food woes, it’s about yours, and about America’s. When I’d hear news reports about childhood obesity, or obesity in general, I’d immediately cop an attitude. That, "I’ll eat WHAT I want, WHEN I want" attitude. Then I tried on my summer dress. Oh wait, no I didn’t, it was too small! How could a dress that fit me a few months ago not fit me now? It’s obvious I haven’t gotten any taller which means I must’ve gotten, eek!, wider.

Naturally, I ran to the kitchen to grab some Cooler Ranch Doritos and sulk. As I placed that crunchy corn chip into my mouth, it hit me. Well, not the Dorito, but my dress dilemma. No wonder my dress didn’t fit, look at my eating habits! I’m 95% percent positive that my four major food groups were sweet, salty, greasy, and fried. I’m 100% percent sure I’m not the only proud patriot with this problem and while I can’t give a percentage, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only A-C Champion with this problem.

Over the past twenty years, obesity in adults has increased by 60% and the obesity in children has tripled over the past thirty years! 58 million Americans are overweight, 40 million are obese, and 3 million are morbidly obese. As for childhood obesity, a new study suggests one in four overweight children is already showing early signs of type II diabetes and 60% already have one risk factor for heart disease. Obesity is becoming a leading cause of many negative health afflictions such as type II diabetes, cardiovascular disease related to obesity, breast and colon cancer, gall bladder surgery, and high blood pressure; just to name a few. The rising obesity rate in America has caused obesity to become one of the leading causes of death here in the United States, second only to tobacco-related deaths.

To be quite honest, these statistics frighten me. While it is true that I’m a bit of a worrywart, but the last thing I thought I’d be paranoid over was Pizza Hut and Pepsi. I mean sure, I worry about the growing obesity epidemic in America, but I worry even more about the potential obesity epidemic that could affect ACHS. As adolescents, we’re really busy. Between sports, musical, jobs, etc., we barely have any free time let alone time to eat right. I, too, am guilty of unhealthy habits. Leisure time during musical season was spent on Sunoco runs and trips to Wendy’s. I’d often run through a drive-thru when pressed for time on the way to work and back when we had open finals, J&S was a nice spot to grab lunch. After talking to many athletes and just my peers in general, I came to the conclusion that I am, in fact, not the only one with sucky snacking skills. So A-C, I’d like to help you to improve your diet the same way I’ve learned to improve mine. To me, learning to be healthy came in steps, mostly because there’s no way I can cut Fruit Roll-Ups and Oreos out of my life. Here are some healthy hints to help you out:

1. Be a picky packer! Try switching from Little Debbies to baby carrots, from Apple Jacks to apple slices.

2. Portion control! Believe it or not, I would eat oh, 8 or so tacos at dinner, plus at least two servings of rice. By gradually cutting down at dinner and watching my servings, I’ve been able to slim down. While at first it was hard and I was hungry, I now get full quicker. Also try smaller snacks in between meals instead of going overboard all at one meal.

3. Moderation! If you’re like me and you enjoy Gushers and Goldfish crackers, this step is for out of your diet entirely, you’ve just got to monitor how often you eat them.

4. Exercise! This is pretty self-explanitory. Get up, move, don’t be a couch potato.

If you’d have asked me how I felt about the fact that Ben and Jerry don’t come around very often anymore a couple of weeks ago, I’m not sure I could type a school appropriate response. If you’d of asked how I felt when the King and I broke up, I might of started sobbing right then and there. And if you’d of asked me how I felt now that I’d rather talk to the Green Giant than Wendy or Ronald, there’s a good chance that I would’ve sighed and rolled my eyes at you. But now that I’ve taken on a new outlook and new eating habits I can honestly say that I do not regret any of the dietary changes I have made. I like knowing that by summer I might have abs, that my legs will be more toned, that hopefully my arms will look a little more athletic in my tank tops. I like knowing that I have the capability of improving my health and my body and, hopefully, helping you to improve yours.

You Don't Know Jack, or Do You?

2008-02-06T18:38:00.008-05:00

I have a tendency to change my Instant Message “info” pretty often. Recently, while I was deciding what I was going to put in it for February, I noticed a great deal of my “Buddies” had the same thing in their infos: “Bauer Power.” For those of you who, when hearing that name, don’t find yourself in a sudden grip of adrenaline and fear, you must not be a die-hard Jack Bauer (24, Fox) fan like me.

The entire season of 24 takes place over a time period of 24 hours, (hence the name), with all episodes depicting one hour. Jack, the main character of the show, has been created as a superhuman help to the Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU). Since the first season in 2001, Bauer has escaped out of a Chinese prison, had to kill his best friend, stopped the country from being gassed, uncovered a corrupt oval office, and gotten away by means of sinking his teeth into the adam’s apple of a bad guy. I’m not going to lie, 24 frightens me when I watch it. I lie down on the couch but within minutes I’m sitting up, and by the time it’s over my fingernails are significantly shorter than when the show began.

The popularity, I’ve decided, is probably caused by the show’s story line following very closely with current media events. This season has focused on the possibility of Muslim terrorists in the United States. Some may argue that this is a very real possibility. It is true that some Muslim extremists have taken drastic measures in suicide bombing missions, but I believe that the details of the show are unrealistic and are giving Americans a false fear.

One character in particular, Hamri Al-Assad, a reformed Muslim extremist, was aiding the CTU. Al-Assad was able to provide CTU with valuable information that would aid it in the capture of terrorist Abu Fayed. Bill Buchanan, the head of CTU, refused Fayed so much as a handshake despite his promise of peace. Another Muslim character, Walid Al-Rezani, who was the head of the IAA, or Islamic-American Alliance, was forced into a detention center that was for, (gasp here), people of the Muslim faith, to spy on them and find out whether or not any prisoner had a connection to the terrorist attacks. After the government coerced Al-Rezani into pickpocketing a phone from an inmate, Al-Rezani was nearly beaten to death when the inmate realized his phone had gone missing. A third Muslim character, Nadia Yassir, who was a CTU employee, was also under government fire. The Department of Homeland Security restricted the access of all employees who are of Middle Eastern descent, which caused Nadia to not be able to work efficiently and at a suitable pace.

The thing that bothered me most was the fear that was instilled in Americans that every Muslim is someone to be feared, that they might at any moment detonate a nuclear bomb with the intention of using four more. Political commentator Keith Olbermann accused 24 of being “propaganda designed to keep people thinking about domestic terrorism to keep us scared.”

I was at the DMV not too long ago and a Muslim man walked in. He had recently moved here from a Middle Eastern country and he spoke with a thick accent. My 11-year-old sister turned to me, clung to my arm, asked if he was a terrorist. She then proceeded to shreik in horror when she saw him climb into a big black van. Although she had only seen the show once, it appalled me that those were the kinds of ideas that 24 might be encouraging.

I wonder that if an 11-year-old ‘one-timer’ got those kinds of impressions, what in the world is the rest of America thinking? Would it not make sense that a country sitting on the edge of their seats with fear of another potential terrorist attack would begin to believe the possibility of this scenario in real life and with this fear more easily support a war against the “terrorists” that the President promotes? Isn’t also quite coincidental that 24 is aired on FOX News, the most conservative news broadcasting station and the co-producer of 24, Paul Gadd, is a registered Republican?

It’s no secret that we, The United States, are currently at war and this war is only supported by a mere thirty-six percent of Americans and our President, George W. Bush, is supported by less than thirty percent of our country. It seems to me that FOX could be using it’s political platform to take advantage of viewers and attempt to gain the support that our country is clearly lacking. Not to mention that Dick Cheney is a self-proclaimed 24 enthusiast and that is reason enough for me to not showcase my AOL Instant Messenger profile with the power of Bauer.